


Not a Crush

by thedramaticgeek (BroadwayBender)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Powers, M/M, Mistletoe shenanigans, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, holiday parties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-28 23:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21144737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BroadwayBender/pseuds/thedramaticgeek
Summary: Bruce Banner does not have a crush on Thor, thank you very much. Sure, if the blond classics major, epitome of light and human golden retriever puppy asked he would marry him on site.But Bruce Banner absolutely did not have a crush.In which Tony wants his friend to get laid, Clint is a menace, and Bruce is definitely not pining.





	Not a Crush

**Author's Note:**

> It's been years since I wrote any fanfiction, but I've been really into this fandom and pairing recently. I'm not entirely sure why I ended up writing this, but there's a severe lack of Bruce/Thor centric fic so I'd like to contribute something. Enjoy!

Bruce Banner, despite what other’s may claim, did not have a crush on Thor Odinson, thank you very much. Sure, if the blond classics major and epitome of light asked, he would marry him on site. Who could refuse? Who would, knowing they had earned the affections of the human golden retriever puppy and upon seeing him fall to his knees, reject such a proposal? 

It had only been about three months since the first day of CHEM 1104 where Bruce met Thor, the latter fresh off of his transfer from some European school no one had heard of before. In that time, Thor had integrated nicely into the chaotic and ever growing friend group Bruce found himself a part of, a side effect of his unlikely friendship with Tony Stark. The group consisted Tony, Bruce, Tony’s old friends Rhodey, Pepper, and Happy, and whoever else Tony could tolerate for more than a day or two and vice versa. 

Thor fit in naturally with “the fam” as Bruce refused to call it despite Tony’s insistence. He’d go to the gym with Steve, help plan ridiculous schemes with Clint, and people watch with Natasha. Sometimes, it seemed as though Thor was closer with the three than any of them were to Tony. 

Bruce just thanked whatever deity or void of chaos that also placed Tony in that particular classroom that day, as Bruce knew he would not have built up the courage to approach Thor himself for at least another six weeks. By then, it would have been too late for the awkward, nerdy, almost overwhelmingly plain Bruce to have any chance of being friends with the blond. The aspiring scientist savored every moment he got to spend with Thor whether it was with the group or one on one. Despite being socially in demand, Thor always seemed to have time for Bruce. They studied for chemistry together, usually with Tony interrupting their focus with his personal brand of unnecessary commentary. Several times a week, they shared lunch or dinner together while the others were busy with their own academic work and extracurriculars.

Once, after a particularly long day, Thor suggested they treat themselves to a late night snack at a diner not far from campus. Between tall milkshakes and plates of fries and onion rings, the two shared stories and jokes. Bruce learned about Thor’s younger brother, Loki, a freshman with a unique talent for getting into and causing trouble. He also learned that Thor could fit fourteen steak fries in his mouth without chewing. In the comfortable silence as the two devoured their midnight burgers, Bruce couldn’t help but feel grateful to have Thor in his life as a classmate and friend.

Sure, maybe he would go home and replay their conversations in his mind as he drifted off to sleep, re-living again and again the way he felt when made Thor’s body erupt with a booming laugh that made people on the other side of the diner turn around. Maybe he would remember some movie he wanted to recommend to Thor and picture what it might be like to watch it with him. And maybe he would imagine lying on the couch with Thor, movie long forgotten, running his fingers through those long golden locks, and pressing his lips to the brightest smile he had ever seen. Maybe he would also wake up imagining those blue eyes were the first thing he saw.

But Bruce Banner absolutely did not have a crush.

The people around him, however, were not in agreement.

“Bruce, my brother,” laughed Tony, “I know you’re in denial, but you and Thor just need to fuckin’ bone.”

The two were in the library, chemistry textbooks and empty coffee cups littering their usual table. Bruce had been staring at an empty chair, recently vacated by the man for whom he certainly had no non-platonic feelings.

“Not everyone is you, Tony. Not everyone thinks of things only in terms of sex,” Bruce said dismissively.

“Fine. Make out. Get dinner first. My point still stands. You and Point Break...”

Bruce rolled his eyes at Tony’s suggestive hand gesture.

“Can we deal with this later? I’d like to pass chemistry.”

“You’re a genius. I’m a genius. We’ll be fine. I’d rather talk about your love life.”

“I don’t have a love life.”

“Exactly!” Tony yelled, throwing his hands in the air prompting glares from people at nearby tables. “But we could fix that.”

“Ever think I don’t want to fix anything?” Bruce asked, picking up his chemistry textbook as if to signal that the conversation was over. Tony persisted.

“Please. I’ve seen how you look at Thor. You wanna tap that. Or get tapped, I don’t judge. And, unlike you, I’ve seen how Thor looks at you. And he wants to tap that. Or get tapped. Again, I don’t judge.”

Bruce rolled his eyes.

“Thor does not have feelings for me.”

“Have you asked him?”

“Why would I?”

“Don’t you want to get some hot foreign ass?”

“We have an exam tomorrow,” Bruce pivoted, looking back down at his practice test. “What did you say for 4C?”

“Don’t think we’re not coming back to this,” Tony said. He looked down at his own practice test. “And ask me that again in ten minutes. I’m still on 4A.”

With exams over, the entire campus seemed to breathe a collective sigh of relief. In the few days between when finals ended and everyone going home for the holidays, the student body’s focus turned to celebrating the interim between semesters and the respite from the responsibilities that accompanied the school year. For many, the new goal was to gain a much coveted invite to the famous Stark Holiday Party.

Bruce wasn’t entirely sure how he managed to be consistently invited to events that were the envy of other students. Sure, he was close friends with Tony Stark, but how he had even managed that he could not answer. The two bonded over their shared passion for science, but beyond that, they were not like the most likely of pairs. Where Tony was suave, Bruce was plain. While Tony had a line of hookups and dates nearly every weekend, Bruce only had one serious relationship in his past, a high school girlfriend he dated before realizing that he was either equally or more into guys. He and Betty had ended things on good terms, but they didn’t talk much after graduation. Though Bruce was certainly far from prude having experimented with a few people of various bodies and presentations while trying to explore his own feelings, his exploits could not dream of competing with his friend’s laundry list of past flames. 

Occasionally, Bruce wished he could be more like Tony, but the thought always left as quickly as it came. How would he even find the kinds of people Tony did? Leave his room? Spend time with people other than his core group of friends? No, Bruce was content to stick with those he knew and trusted. Besides, being friends with Tony had introduced him to more people than joining a fraternity or going out to bars every weekend ever could. Tony met people everywhere he went, some of them even sticking around the morning after.

As the Stark extravaganza went into full swing, Bruce stuck to his usual place at the side of the room, occasionally talking to one of the few people there he knew. For an exclusive event, Tony sure did invite a lot of people. Bruce preferred to take these kinds of events in from afar, picking his friends out from the crowd to see what they were up to. 

He spotted Clint, who was running around the room with the most pathetic sprig of mistletoe dangling it over couples and non-couples alike. Natasha looked ready to commit murder when Clint approached her and Carol Danvers. Whether or not the redhead had any feelings for the other girl (or if either of them swung that way so to speak), Natasha resented being pressured into anything. Carol, to her credit, laughed and pressed her lips to Natasha’s now reddening cheek.

As Bruce chuckled to himself at the thought about the danger Clint didn’t realize he had put himself in by pranking Natasha, he was approached by the soft beeps of a robot. Dum-E, as Tony had of course named the poor thing, rolled over with a cup of nonalcoholic punch set aside for Bruce along with a separate punch bowl. Bruce smiled at Tony’s thoughtfulness.

“Thanks, Dum-E,” Bruce said, patting the robot as if petting a dog who had done a trick. Unfortunately, Dum-E, much like a dog receiving praise, proceeded to roll around in circles, raising and lowering its claw while beeping in elation. Before Bruce could stop it, the tray had fallen, dumping punch all of the floor as well as Bruce’s shoes. The other guests did not notice the clink of metal meeting hardwood over the sounds of loud rock music and lively conversation.

“With a name like Dum-E, you never really had a chance, did you?” Bruce joked as he looked for a roll of paper towels to wipe up the spill. He eventually found one in the kitchen and returned to wipe up the mess. The robot had located a mop but, living up to its name, was using it about two feet away from where it was needed.

Once the floor was clean, Bruce returned to his observations. He saw Stephen Strange staring at his watch as if it could make Steve Rogers disappear. The drunk blond seemed to be talking the ears off of anyone who was too close to him about how wonderful his dear boyfriend Bucky was and how lucky he was to be in requited love with his childhood best friend. Said boyfriend seemed to be boring Wong to near death with some story about an ROTC buddy of his, possibly Steve Rogers himself.

Meanwhile, Clint, force of chaos that he was, seemed to be targeting couples, should be couples, and random pairs of unsuspecting victims alike as if to erase any suspicion of an ulterior motive. Bruce watched as Rhodey gave a quick and reluctant peck to a girl Bruce didn’t recognize, and as Sam Wilson rolled his eyes before taking T’Challa’s hand and kissing it.

Occasionally, someone would come and talk to Bruce, which he usually didn’t mind. What he didn’t care for was being used as an excuse to not interact with someone the person clearly wanted to talk to.

Happy Hogan, for example, spent at least twenty minutes talking at Bruce about nothing in particular. Bruce liked the guy, but even someone with his seemingly endless patience could not deal with another minute of listening to Happy recount his mysterious friendship and/or working relationship with Tony (something even Bruce didn’t understand), how pretty Pepper Potts looked in her green sweater (Happy thought it brought out her eyes), even the weather (slightly warm for December but still crisp). Every now and then, Happy would stop suddenly after meeting Pepper’s gaze.

“Go. Talk to her,” Bruce said encouragingly after one such lull.

Happy grinned and walked over to the girl in question. Despite his occasional annoyance with Happy, Bruce couldn’t help but smile at the two. They really were well suited to one another.

Near them in the center of the room, Thor was introducing his brother to a group of freshman girls, Loki looking unamused by the party in general as if he had seen better.

“You know, I’m sure he would let you suck his dick if you asked.”

Bruce was startled by the voice of the clearly intoxicated host.

“Tony, don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“Whatever. You love me. Almost as much as you love Thor. Except, not the same. Like, I’d be flattered, but we both know you’d rather have some Scandinavian co—”

“Tony, you don’t even know if he’s into guys.”

The drunk boy shrugged. “Eh, a mouth’s a mouth. Besides, the way he looks at you he’s clearly not straight…” Tony rested his hand on Bruce’s arm for balance, but pulled away when he felt something odd. “Why are you sticky? It’s too early in the night to be sticky.”

“Dum-E got excited.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have trusted him with the punch bowl…”

“Shouldn’t you be off annoying your boyfriend?”

“Hey, Stephen and I are keeping things casual. By the way, thanks for reminding me. I haven’t made out with him in at least twelve hours and you know how I get,” Tony almost floated over to the tall Pre-Med who rolled his eyes as his not-boyfriend approached him. Still, Stephen eagerly accepted the kiss Tony offered. Bruce was unable to hold back the pang of jealously that prodded his heart. Not for either of his friends in particular, rather for the clear love they had for one another whether they would confess to such feelings or not.

“Banner!” an accented voice boomed behind him, snapping Bruce from his contemplation. The dark-haired man turned to lock eyes with a beaming blond wall of muscle.

“H-hey Thor,” Bruce couldn’t help but stammer. In his mind, he cursed himself for not being able to get a greeting out without faltering before the godlike presence. “How have you been?”

“Wonderful! Especially now that exams have been completed!” Thor bellowed. Bruce couldn’t help but wonder if the blond had an inside voice or if the volume was some kind of foreign custom. “I will say, though, I believe I shall miss Professor Coulson’s chemistry lectures. I found him to be most informative even for an introductory level course.”

“Yeah, I’m taking him again next semester. Though I guess you’re probably done with your science requirement.” 

Bruce wanted to kick himself. Was he really going to waste a conversation with Thor at the party of the year awkwardly talking about chemistry class and bringing up degree requirements?

Fortunately, Thor, generous angel that he was, seemed willing to indulge Bruce. “Alas, I am. I’m afraid I won’t be in taking any more classes in that department. If all goes well, I hope to pick up a modern languages major, so I won’t have time to take much outside of my requirements.”

“I didn’t know you were thinking about that.”

“I’ve always had an affinity for languages. English is my third language after all.”

“I wouldn’t be able to tell.”

Bruce swore Thor’s smile at his compliment could light up the midnight sky.

“Enough school talk. The semester’s over. Tell me, Bruce, what do you plan to do over break?”

“Um, well I’m staying in my apartment. Still working shifts at the coffee shop downtown. Not much different from the school year except I’m only taking one online course. It’s my social science requirement, and I want to get it out of the way before—” he stopped himself before he could repeat his previous error. “Sorry, you said no shop talk.”

Thor laughed. “No problem, my friend. I like to hear you talk about your plans. By the way, my brother and I will also be staying in town over break. We should meet while everyone else is away. With or without Loki of course. He’ll probably be visiting his new friend. Calls himself ‘The Grandmaster.’ I don’t remember his real name. It was something strange and foreign.”

“Wow strong words coming from a guy named after a Norse god,” Bruce joked. Thor pouted, though clearly in jest.

“Strong words coming from someone called ‘Bruce Banner,’” he retorted.

Bruce laughed. For a moment, the world seemed to move in slow motion as he and Thor just looked into each other’s eyes. Bruce had never been a fan of parties. He was never sure how or why he ended up at Tony’s events. He didn’t have to babysit; that was Rhodey’s job. He didn’t need to be the sober designated driver as everyone lived close enough to walk home and those close enough to Tony were welcome to crash wherever they could find space. He knew he wasn’t needed there and, despite Tony’s pleas, the festivities would go on the same with or without him lurking by the wall. But in that moment, Bruce was glad he came if only to steal a few moments in Thor’s presence.

Neither expected what came next.

“MISTLETOE WARNING NO TAKE BACKS!” Clint yelled dangling something green as he nearly leapt over the two. How Clint could soar across the room the way he did was a mystery even to an aspiring physicist like Bruce.

The brunet froze, wide-eyed at the man before him.

“Y-you don’t have to...”

“I believe that would be breaking the laws of mistletoe,” Thor joked. He gently grabbed Bruce’s arm and pulled the smaller man in towards his chest. Bruce shuddered from the proximity to the man he had been falling asleep and waking up to thoughts of. “Unless you don’t want to,” Thor added, noticing Bruce’s sudden shift. The taller removed his hands from Bruce’s forearms and took a presumptive step back. “It’s perfectly fine if you don’t want to. I respect that, of course.“

“Thor.”

“It’s a stupid law, mistletoe. Do plants even get to have laws?”

“Thor.”

“Regardless, we don’t have to abide by it, should you be averse to such—”

“Thor!”

Thor stopped his rambling.

“I’m okay with it if you are,” Bruce confessed.

Thor smiled, more sheepish than his usual expression, almost as if nervous to kiss Bruce of all people. His arms found their way back to Bruce, this time swinging around his shoulders. He pulled the smaller in somehow closer than before and pressed his lips to Bruce’s.

For a moment, Bruce’s world halted completely. It was happening. For all his teasing, Tony was right; Bruce had a problem to be fixed and it was the lack of kisses from Thor.

Bruce opened his mouth inviting Thor’s tongue inside. They stayed like that for longer than any purely mistletoe induced kiss had the right to last. Across the room, Tony handed Clint a twenty-dollar bill.

Reluctantly, the two pulled apart.

“Wow,” Bruce breathed.

“Why haven’t we been doing that?” Thor questioned.

“What?” Bruce asked, shocked.

“That was incredible. You’re incredible. At kissing. And other things, I mean you’re brilliant.”

“Have-have you wanted to do that?”

“Well, honestly, yeah,” Thor admitted with a blush. His eyes were glued to the ground as if somehow afraid at meet Bruce’s wide-eyed stare. “Quite a bit, honestly. I like you, Bruce. I have for awhile now.”

“I’m an idiot,” he muttered.

“Don’t say that about yourself,” Thor admonished. “You’re the farthest thing from an idiot, Bruce Banner.”

“No, I’m a fool. How could I not see you liked me too? Even Tony could see it.”

Bruce could have sworn he heard a loud “HEY” from across the room, but in his shock and joy, it did not matter to him in the least.

“Too? You mean...”

Thor met Bruce’s eyes. Bruce nodded.

“Thor, you’re kind, gorgeous, more brilliant than anyone gives you credit for, generous. How could anyone not be at least a little in love with you?”

“Is that to say...”

“Yes. I’ve wanted this for a while.”

If Thor’s smile earlier could light up the night sky, his expression upon hearing Bruce’s admission should qualify as a new sun. Distant planets were probably developing life deep in their oceans from the sheer power and shine of Thor’s face.

“Go out with me sometime?” Thor asked.

“Of course,” Bruce responded without hesitation.

Years later, at the wedding of Bruce Banner and Thor Odinson, Clint and Tony would argue over who should get credit for the newlyweds getting together in the first place. Bruce would let them fight it out. After all, the results of their meddling were what mattered to him. And those results were magnificent.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it. Let me know if you'd like to see more in this universe or have any specific requests. I had some ideas I couldn't fit into this particular fic, so I'd definitely be open to revisiting this AU with more Thorbruce or with other pairings.  
Thanks for reading!


End file.
